What does it mean to be good enough? If I say that I don't feel that I'm good enough for too much of anything, does that mean that I am rejecting myself? Where do these thoughts even come from?
Self-rejection is a real thing. It is simply the process of not accepting yourself. Yep! That's my definition. Well said, right?
To say that you are not good enough is to say that there is something wrong with you and it is so wrong that you it renders you useless. You are incompetent, unable, and good for nothing. Frankly speaking, that sounds like someone who is in the process of not accepting who they are. This is self-rejection.
These thoughts can come from a variety of thoughts, words spoken, situations, or even a mixture of all of the above. When you locate the origin, sometimes the pain is unbearable because a lot of times we attempt to push things that hurt under the rug into our subconscious mind so that we do not have to deal with it. This subconscious living eats away at us from the root to the surface.
I liken it to looking at an ant farm. When you look at the ant farm, what you see brings your thoughts to life and even extends your knowledge as you behold everything that is happening beneath the surface of what you can see. The glass doesn't hold a reflection but it does allow you to see what is inside. The closer you look the more you can see the work that is going on similar to what happens when we open the door to the closet we hid all of our hurts and shames.
As we open the closet door, we see a mess and sometimes it is an organized mess. As we get closer, our senses open up and we can now hear the sounds where we wore the garment. We can smell how it smelled the day it happened. It forms as a trigger and we fold under the pressure. Stop!
Because this is so real to us, this is a place that is far deeper than a mere rejection. For some of us, this is a place of abuse, rape, molestation, abandonment, and maybe more. It is a place that you may not be able to stand alone. You may need counseling to finally deal with the contents of this closet.
For those of you that say this is not that deep for me, I will ask you to journal where you are. Locate the origin and begin to deal with the hurts and pains that cause you to tell yourself that you are not accepted not even by you.
When we tell ourselves that we don't measure up to our standards on a constant basis, we reject the progress that we are making. We tell ourselves that we are always beneath the board. That is cruelty to self. How much of that do you think you can take? Who told you that you were not good enough? Why did you believe it?